Sunday, March 14, 2010

Take that swine.

I open my eyes. I can see things in my room-it must be daylight. Un-tuck the yellow mosquito net, slide out. I put my flip flops on and tuck the net back in. Check the time on my cell phone dangling and recharging in the only place in the house with spotty receptions-6:17. Open the heavy metal door to the world. My chicken coop is some 30 metes away from my door, and begin to greet my chickens I fondly call 'my ladies'-I'm stopped dead in my tracks. A gigantic disgusting pig is has moved the rocks around the base and is half way into the coop. This swine was gigantic I swear if you painted it with an argyle pattern and put some cushions on it, it could have been confused for a sofa. In my boxers and flip flops only I began running towards this 300lbs monster. I could throw a rock at it and it would run away but I need to teach it a lesson. I grab a 3 foot stick with the thickness of my forearm. The pig's 'pork-sense' goes off and realizes an enrages confused gringo is running towards it and tries to escape but I am upon it before it can fully withdraw. I let the stick rain down onto it's back with full force literally splintering the stick on it's back (i think this has a lot to do with the stick being half way rotten). The disgusting beast of yore let's out an equally disgusting roar and withdraws. It looks at me for a second. From smashing my stick on it's back I am bent over somewhat and alarmingly close to eye level and would have dorked my shorts realizing I just attacked an animal that must weigh almost twice as much as me, but it flees into woods. I stand up and examine the damage to the coop and push a chicken that's trying to escape with my foot. I hear what could be an other pig, looking up I see a 9 year old boy who bore witness to it all, he had a slight grin. “Pig was messing with my chickens.” I say as someone who just had an incredibly private moment intruded on and tries to act like nothing happened. he nodded in agreement, and watched more a minute as I made makeshift repairs so 'my ladies' couldn't escape while I searched for much bigger rocks to surround the base. I try to remember how this mess with the chickens started.